I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I had to cum in my sink.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
