at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
