Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
