what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
