i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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