is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
