Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
