If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
