note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
