everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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