this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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