rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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