Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
