Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
