Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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