just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
