Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
