I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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