Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
