I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
