I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
