Dude my mom stole all your condoms
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
