Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
