He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
