We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
