I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
