You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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