Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
