so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
