I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this boner is exhausting
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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