the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
