so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
