It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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