She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
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