I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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