We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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