This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
