I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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