Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
