can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
