Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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