i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
