You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
