piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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