when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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