So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
