very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
