That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
