1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
