I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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