Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize