im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
