i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
